His Cold Lips
by HopelessRomanticist
Summary: Oneshot. Asuka left too much unsaid, for far to long. Now she has lost the chance to tell Shinji how much he meant to her.


His Cold Lips

Disclaimer: I do not own Shinji, Asuka or any other of the traumatized characters of NGE. If I did, they would not be traumatized (much). Ditto, I do not own "Barbara Allen"

_Barbara Allen_

He turned his pale face to the wall,  
And death was on him dwellin'.  
"Adieu, Adieu, my kind friends all,  
Be kind to Barbara Allen."

* * *

In a field of black, silent stone monuments, a single figure walks, lacking rhythm or the grace she once had. Anyone who had known the young teenager would have noticed the changes to her appearances. Her once vibrant, shining red-gold her is now an ashen red. Her once beautiful face drawn tight over her cheekbones. Her once full lips now pale imitations. Her once smooth skin rough and uncared for.

But the greatest change can not be seen as easily as these. Her eyes, once sparkling with life and energy, are now dull with pain, and hurt. Her eyes now are red from crying more than ever before in her life. The blue gone... all gone...

Asuka Langley Soryu walked towards the far corner of field of stone. She stops before a solitary pillar.

"Why did you leave?... Why did you leave me?"

"Would you have stayed with me if I asked you?"

"Am I so selfish that I want you to be with me?"

"Am I so cruel that you left me?"

"What will I do... without...you?"

"PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE BEFORE"

And Asuka collapses beside the stone, pressing her hands to the ground, the stone, the etched name and date, and the small picture of a brown-haired boy, desperately trying to take some small part of Shinji with her, never to leave her. But she can not. And she falls to her knees once more, a sobbing wreck, the tears she promised never to shed falling even faster now, hot and steaming in the cold, cold air. She would have heard the shout behind her, if she had not been listening desperately for a voice she KNEW she would never hear again. She would have felt someone pulling her hair out of her eyes, if she had not been waiting for the touch she knew she would never feel again. She would have felt Hikari's tears on her shoulder if she was not waiting, waiting against all hope for the boy she once loved, still loved.

But he was gone

And she was once again alone

Asuka turned her head towards the rain-filled clouds, a scream erupting from her very soul. And even this was unheard by the one person she wished to hear it. Why had she been a coward. Why had she never told him how much he meant to her? Why couldn't the pain just leave her, leave leave like he had.

"_Asuka…it's all right…_"

And Asuka's head rose, knowing it was impossible.

And it was.

There was no-one there.

And, this moment, more than anything else, broke down Asuka. Broke like a diamond, shattering into a thousand, beautiful pieces. And Asuka, evoking all the self-importance and will and spirit that the old Asuka Langley had held with such pride, she silenced her cries, hiding the tremors of her body, stooped down to the gravestone and pressed her still warm lips to his cold ones of the photo.

"_This is not a good-bye, because I'll see you soon, my love."_

She cried softly, uttering the last good-bye to the man she loves still

One day later, Asuka Langley Soryu was dead. The doctors concluded that it was not suicide, merely a loss of the will to live.

The End

* * *

_Barbara Allen_

He turned his pale face to the wall,  
And death was on him dwellin'.  
"Adieu, Adieu, my kind friends all,  
Be kind to Barbara Allen."

As she was walkin' through the fields,  
She heard the death bells knelling,  
And every toll they seemed to say,  
"Hard-hearted Barbara Allen."

She looked east, she looked west,  
She saw his corpse a-comin'.  
"Lay down, lay down the corpse," she said,  
"And let me gaze upon him."

"O mother, mother make my bed,  
O make it long and narrow,  
Sweet William died for me today,  
I'll die for him tomorrow."

Sweet William died on a Saturday night,  
And Barbara died on Sunday,  
Her mother died for the love of both,  
And was buried Easter Monday.

they buried Willie in the old church yard,  
And Barbara there anigh him,  
And out of his grave a red, rose grew,  
And out of hers, a briar.

They grew and grew in the old churchyard,  
Till they could grow no higher,  
They lapped and tied a true love's knot.  
The rose ran around the briar.

* * *

Please remember, this is my first upload... don't kill me, please, despite the bad quality


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